Our illustrious Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, has been caught. Her husband, in her second home, for which she claims a second house allowance, all of a few miles away from her primary residence (a flat she shares with her sister in London, go figure), has been downloading porn from the internet service provider (Virgin), and billing it to the account of the right honourable. About time we changed these disgusting expense and second home rules. Funnily enough the rest of the bunch are staying surprisingly quiet.

Now, what were the films he was watching?